I wish the op would post his pic, I've never seen someone who actually had their head up their own ass. He must be limber, even if deprived of air to his brain.

 

pretty ignorant

 

Damn. I usually get humor, but the first few "reasons" were moderately believable, so I thought he was serious lol. I hereby withdraw my above comment

 

lmao. i think this guy should have joined a forum with no women. i found it fucking hilarious. to all the blokes who are getting teary eyed over this, grow a sack

even MY mrs would find this funny. albeit with a few slaps but shite!! you dont like it, fuck off and click another post.

you want intelligent posts with toungue in cheek blah blah? dont waste time replying, sad twat.

whos next?

Fox, typical woman. bend over, know your place. and if "last time i checked it was" is all you had as a come back, probably not worth the time typing love.

To Kail1976, well done, you have successfully made those of us with a sense of humour piss our selves, and email it to our colleagues, and to those with the humour, ROCK THE FUCK ON.

To the 5 year old bitches needing a hug from daddy, suck our fucking balls.

 

that’s cute 3 months after the original post you decide to chirp up puffing your chest out throwing your weight around pretending you actually have balls.

my place is at my girlfriends side with my foot on your face

you guys are so typical you cant stand that your only second best. An obsolete tool to be used.

Come back when you have something valid. Oh and just for the record no one one here ever gave a fuck about a 1 poster

Must admit its adorable seeing guys who act tough on the web.

 

i love it how you think a pathetic, chauvanistic one poster thinks he can insult a vauled member of the forum because she didn't enjoy a mysogynistic joke meant for those men who can't get it, and so rip on women.

lol you beat me to it, but QFT... apart from the "obsolete tool" bit, i love my boyfriend, but each to their own and you post made me smile

 

Fixed the post..

 

1, 2, and 3, pretty much true.

4. SILENT FRIGHT:
I agree, let a guy know when you orgasm, this is a huge turn.

5. PHONE TURN-Off:
I totally agree, it is almost always annoying if a girl is trying to check her phone during sex, is there no such thing as turning your phone off? Seriously.

8. POOR PRESENTATION:
Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it.
Not a bad idea.

11. BEING A DRIP:
Eh, I'll help clean up, but I agree that it should be considered misbehaving not to swallow everything.

13. CLOCK-WATCHING:
Never, ever, ever, ever even think of saying: "Are you going to come soon."
Hmmm, I half way agree, sometimes I don't mind cumming if she isn't into it, but I'd much rather prefer for the girl to just always be into it.

15. PLAYING DEAD:
Good sex is not a spectator sport. This is very true.

16. BEING POSSESSIVE:
18. SPITTING IT OUT:
Eh, these are only true in a perfect world.

20. SEEKING FAVOURS:
Never contemplate taking advantage of your man's warm after-sex glow to seek favours or make requests. As he drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask :"Do you think I should buy that dress /skirt /sofa/ Mercedes /country cottage?" there is a name for the practice of mixing sex with material gain - prostitution.
Totally agree with this, though I'm poor so I haven't had to deal with it that I remember.

21. BED-RIDDEN:
Sure it's good to have sex in other areas but plenty of women know this too or they should.

23. BEING NAKED:
NOT TRUE, I love seeing a naked woman's body, it is unlikely I'd sleep with someone if I didn't enjoy seeing them naked.

24. TOO BRIGHT:
I like the lights on.

27. KEEPING HIM WAITING:
Don't get him all turned on and the let his proud stiffy whither while you go to the bathroom and tone and moisturize every square centimetre of your body.

In a perfect world this would be true, though I have no problems getting erections repeatedly.

28. TOOTH ACHE:
When we ask you to eat our cock, this should not be taken literally.I know it's hard to resist but keep the tooth action to a little nibble now and again.
This is a no-brainer or should be.

29. YOU CAN'T HURRY, LOVE:
If a woman is serious about good oral sex as part of foreplay, 20 minutes is the bare minimum required to give the subtle and complex penis a reasonable working over. Better allow for 45 minutes at least.
Haha, I dunno, so far I only like oral so much, I'd just get tired of it after so long unless the girl is really into it.

30. TWO DIMENSIONAL:
It's not enough to be a specialist - even in the important skill of
fellatio. To be regarded as a successful woman in bed you must have a full portfolio of tricks. These should include a penchant for facial glazing and a familiarity with idiosyncrasies of your man's anal region.
Once again, in a perfect world.

32. UNSWEET SMELL OF EXCESS:
While men are more than happy to lick the pink clam, please give it a bit of a wash once or twice a week. You can have too much of a good thing.
Duh, both partners showering regularly is important.

34. PERIOD PAIN (1):
35. PERIOD PAIN (2):
I don't mind having period sex.

36. THE BIG SWITCH (OFF):
Nothing is worse than giving a man some encouragement and then not finishing the job. Such encouragement might be the slightest brush against any part of his body. So if he's got a stiffy, you've got to deal with it and take things through to there natural conclusion.
Again this is only in a perfect world.

Haha, most of this stuff was too sexist, but some of it had merit

 

haha i love this

 

Aw, come on kids, let's lighten up. To those of you protesting how sexist this is, I think you are missing the point. My interpretation is that this is simple hyperbole and is actually pointing out how ridiculous the cave man attitude is. And as for protesting that humor doesn't belong in a "serious" section of the forum, humor is absolutely a valid way to express a serious point. Just my opinion, you're all welcome to yours.

 

......................................I giggled.......................................

 

hehe sorry i was on a roll with my reply and it fit well

 

some of that i might give credit to...most of it was complete bullshit. every man and every woman like doing things differently than the next.

 

In the absence of female company I'm crying with laughter, should I have such company, fearful for my life........I'd be tutting with distain!

 

Is it just me that suspects that the dominant factor between those who "get" this thread and those who dont, is likely to be geographical? Everyone knows that us brits have a somewhat more... understated... sense of humor. Whether thats good or bad is down to personal taste i guess.

Sorry this is a bit of a waste of a first post, lol, but its the first thing that i felt i could reply to. Just easing myself in slowly here.